Rethinking 'Us' & 'Them': Integration and Diversity in Europe

I fall very definitely in the us category, which means i have a very easy time understanding my own identity. if im honest, i always felt very boring, and would feel slightly jealous when friends complained about always having to tick the 'other' box on forms. Now, there is one box i dont fit into (much to my delight), in that i am not straight. Other parts of my identity like my class (very insidious in the uk) and my accent being different from the city i grew up in for 21 years are tiny nuances that i occassionally trip over or have difficulties with, but i know i will always be percieved as very definitely 'one of us' in england, and to some degree in any other 'western' country. as a member of pretty much every priviledged group, i see communities and people i dentify with represented positively (or at least not negatively) almost all of the time. the only exception is representations of women, and of gay women, which i find so irritating i have stopped watching tv and pretty much anything from hollywood - not as a moral choice, just because i prefer interesting youtubers or depressing anthropology documentaries (e.g. The Act of Killing and The Look of Silence)
From reading, conversations and my own experience living in the uk and (briefly) in Hong Kong, it seems like even the countries that have a reputation for diversity and taking in refugees are hostile to newcomers (e.g. Singapore, Hong Kong, the uk to some extent), and from conversations with neighbours, some second generation migrants adopt this way of thinking. the city i grew up in is pretty diverse, and i remember thinking that was cool from quite a young age, but its certainly not the norm in the rest of england.
For me its important to acknowledge how easy my life has been and is in many aspects in terms of iclusion within society by my peers, teachers, people giving me lifts while hitchhiking, helping me with directions, letting me use their phone to call a friend: assuming that i must be trustworthy because of how i look. Feeling guilty is pretty useless, intead i want to use my priviledge to be a good ally, and always be open to learning more, questioning more. I feel that one of the most dangerous things we have to confront (apart from the imperialist white supremacist capitalist patriarchy - thank you bell hooks for putting into words the way all oppressions are connected! you could add onto this mouthfull transphobic, abelist, anti-sex work and so many more!) is the way we have of living more and more in our own bubbles, which makes it harder and harder to communicate/understand/debate/convince/empathise with people who have other views. this i feel is part of the reason brexit and trump happened...