Like Children, the Urban Dictionary doesn’t lie…

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by Jeremy Cohen

Do you sometimes feel like you’re the odd man out? Don’t really know what your cool friends in the city are saying? Do phrases like “potty”, “safe”, “I can dig it” and “the placebo effect” leave you in a pitiful heap?

Well don’t sweat, cuz, ‘cause you’re probably not alone. At least not on a linguo-cultural level. Since 1999, Urbandictionary.com has been discreetly helping jive-turkeys and wet blankets get their lingo groove on in the interwebs. We all know that without this hallowed guide, students everywhere would be forced to wade through a thick fog of “whazzat?” whenever they left the “‘burbs” and entered the “jungle”. 

So, it was much to our delight and amusement when we stumbled on the light-hearted entries of two of our larger competitors, Moodle and Blackboard. Appended below are a few of our very favorites (with coarse language expunged or softened). Enjoy!

1.) Moodle – (n.) – “A janky software system for schools that is supposed to allow instructors to post things, but, in fact, Moodle will just say it posted it and sent it to the students. But it really didn’t.”

Did you get the assignment for Zayne last week?

No!

It was on Moodle!

DANG MOODLE

2.) Moodle – (n.) –  “A website teachers use because they are trying to be ‘green’ and not waste paper.”

Guys, your homework is on the Moodle!” 

“Okay, well what happens when an anti-technology terrorist blows up the internet?

3.) Moodle – (n.) – “a free open source course management system used for those with no knowledge of websites”

“Did you do your Moodle class work?”

“Nah a pox on that moodle”

4.) Blackboard – (n.) – “An application used at Arizona State University under the “My ASU” tab to keep students connected with their classes. It is designed to be used to get students to interact with each other as well as with their professor(s). The only problem with this, though, is that it is typically down when it is needed the most. For example, the first day of classes or during finals week.”

Student 1: “Hey! Did you check BlackBoard to see if that quiz is up yet?”

Student 2: “Nope. Stupid Online Course Management (OCM) Platform is down again.”

Student 1: “Figures.”

We sincerely hope that iversity will receive some more favorable entries :)